Scum Slum!

Car parking, S.P. rating 1. What car parking? There is no car parking, except on the home side and believe you me you don't want to be on that part of the ground either before or after the game. Therefore you have to take a chance parking on the street and that's no picnic either as you could find yourself half a mile from the ground very easily.

Ease of access: S.P. rating 4. Despite the long walk from the Industrial Estate [reminiscent of the infamous hen-run at the Oval], when one gets there getting into the ground is no great difficulty. On the down side there were only two turnstiles and I wonder how they would cope with a large crowd of fans arriving at the same time. Staff were courteous to the point of being friendly.

Spectating facilities: S.P. rating 2. This is a huge bone of contention with United fans. You either pay £10 and sit in the stand where the view isn't great, building is too low and too far away from the action or you pay £8 and stand behind the goals where the view is pathetic to put it mildly. Oh for the good old days when we had access to the terracing opposite the stand and the fans brought a bit of atmosphere to the whole thing.

Toilets: S.P. rating 5. I'm giving them a generous mark here maybe as I didn't inspect them fully, just nipped in for a quick slash before the game and unhygenically didn't wash my hands after [well I'm a bachelor at heart, ain't I], so I can't comment on the had-washing facilities.

Playing surface: S.P. rating 5. Again I'm probably being generous here, but there always seems to be good football played here, well when the Sky Blues are there anyway. One thing that always puzzled me was why it was hard to tell when the ball was out of play along the touch lines? I have no answer for this personally, but it was always a strange anomaly associated with the home of the Scum. There also appears to be a slope from the centre of the pitch to the 'home' goal, probably an optical illusion [just like the Coleraine income tax bill].

Stangmore Stinks!

Car Parking: S.P. rating 3, Yes there is car parking, but there is not adequate car parking, there are no definitions of where to park, there is a steward in attendance but cars still park 'willy nilly' and I doubt if it holds more than 100 cars. If you want to use the car park get there early. Exiting the car park is no picnic either, as they tend to just open the one gate. The car park to my mind is too close to the ground, danger of cars being damaged by footballs.

Ground Access: S.P. rating 2, Turnstiles are antiquated, there are only two, so if there was a huge influx of fans they couldn't cope, staff are fine but not too courteous and none too helpful either.

Spectating Views: S.P. rating 4, If you are not at the front you can't see the touch lines and even then you have to lean out, there is no segregation which could lead to trouble although the banter is usually good natured, but I think it's a disaster waiting to happen. The stand is pathetic, they still think they're an intermediate club, it's time they got their act together, this is the 21st century after all.

Toilet Facilities: S.P. rating 5, The toilets for some reason are at least a 100 yards from the entrance, though small they were clean, but had the paper towels in upside down, probably a money saving exercise.

Playing Surface: S.P. rating 6, The much vaunted playing surface at Stangmore fails in my opinion badly due to the slope from the social club end to the other (I have no name for this end as yet), otherwise it's fair but seemed rather bouncy and in need of a roller, but for an Intermediate league club, fairly good.